Two more gifts from the fog
What I carry forward from my experience with brain fog
For the most part, I’ve finally emerged from post-COVID brain fog, which I’ve recounted in previous newsletters. But though I’m glad to have moved beyond it, I’m also grateful for what I’ve learned from the experience.
In my previous post on brain fog, I described how practices—specifically, musical and mindfulness practices—enabled me to respond to the evolving discomforts of brain fog with some measure of creativity and grace.
But there are two other lessons I carry forward as well. Though far from unique, these lessons have the power to make a big practical difference in the quality of my life.
Every day blends capacity with incapacity
After about a week without brain fog symptoms, one of my kids woke up multiple times during a difficult night. Because I’m the parental “first-responder” to such late-night disturbances in our household, that meant I had a rough night, too. The next morning, the now-familiar feeling of brain fog was back.
This was a big “a-ha” moment for me: though my COVID-induced brain fog was unique in its duration and quality, something like brain fog has always been, and will remain, a strand of my experience as both person and parent, depending especially on the quality of my sleep.
I live every day along a spectrum—or perhaps multiple spectra—of capacity and incapacity, and I am neither more nor less of a person or parent as a result: I simply am. Taking stock of the capacities and incapacities I bring with me into a given day or situation, and being honest about these with myself and my loved ones, is a necessary step toward living and parenting mindfully.
One thing at a time
Multitasking was not only impossible while experiencing brain fog: it was physically painful. This discomfort could transform quickly into reactivity, unless and until I remembered to slow down and focus on one thing at a time. Sometimes, this meant telling my loved ones that I simply could not meet all of their needs at once.
This experience revealed a vital truth of my life: multitasking is a seedbed for reactivity. Despite the productivity-minded aspiration of the term “multitasking,” approaching situations in this way makes them foggy and renders me incapable.
To do anything with attentive care and with grace toward my loved ones, I must do one thing at a time, and I must communicate that need to myself and others.